One of the things I’ve done this year that I’m happy about is attending more than a few sessions of therapy. I will gladly recommend therapy to anyone now, thanks to this year’s experience. There is great value in a person who helps you recontextualize your life.

Fair warning, finding a therapist that you click with is not a given. I tried looking for a therapist a few years ago but the initial contact through email turned me off from trying again. This past year, however, a few things lined up financially for me to meet with a therapist who was not only Christian, but who also homeschooled their children. I also felt that this person was warm, trustworthy, and deeply sincere. I’ll refer to them as D.

I have had difficulties controlling my temper in the past. I’ve improved greatly in the past two years. This improvement in control has been since Jack suggested we pray together every night. God has been very faithful even in matters of the heart. But there are certainly times where I still suffer from mom rage (no joke). And so, during one therapy session, I brought up my anger with D, and I’m glad I did, because his answer has since helped me understand that anger is no bad thing.

“What is the purpose of anger?” D asked.

My first thought was bewilderment. I had never before considered that anger had a purpose. My second was to consider the Bible. God feels anger, so anger in itself couldn’t be wrong. In fact God’s anger occurs…

“… when something is not right. Something is wrong, or some injustice is afoot. Sin, injustice… these are right causes for anger,” I reasoned. Suddenly, I realized that anger was and could be a good thing, but also that I had been afraid of anger and therefore unwilling to understand it any further.

“Anger is one of the big emotions that signal to us that something is wrong,” D continued. “And sometimes anger demands something of us… that we shout, or yell, or bang on things. But we don’t have to listen to those demands.”

Similarly, Dr. Laura Markham writes in her book Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids that mindfulness is acknowledging the emotion without acting upon it. She also elaborates on anger, teaching that oftentimes anger is simply a symptom of other emotions such as worry or fear. And it’s an amalgamation of these thoughts that have helped me recently, changing my thoughts quicker than if I were to muddle along on my own.

This isn’t to say that I don’t get angry. I was very upset this morning, for example. R has been waking early every day this past week, cranky, coughing, and easily upset. Not a great way to start off the day for her or the rest of us. Today, my response was the worst: snapping, irritable, and unsympathetic. Yet, thanks to D, when I finally did get a moment’s break, I considered what my anger was signaling. Thanks to the book I read (and Dr. Markham’s website), I also came to realize that I was worried about R’s health, but also fearful that I had made yet another mistake as a parent responsible for her wellbeing. I soon after apologized to R for my poor attitude and anger.

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This is post 2 out of 5 in my half-year challenge.